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Photo by Leigh Cohen.
A Quality Paperback Book Club Selection
Autographed Copies
In the second grade, when my teacher gave me an "F" in handwriting, I knew I was on my way to a life of excellence in grapho-motor dysfunction. As if to prove I was equally at home in cursive as I was in printing, my fifth grade teacher also honored me with an "F." But I was John Hancock back then compared to what I am today. After many long years of practice, I am proud to announce that I have reached the pinnacle in total illegibility. And I have done it without performance-enhancing drugs.
Now you can be the proud owner of your own personalized testimony to chaos theory and the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. How did he do it? you will marvel as you contemplate dots and crosses with no "I"s or "T"s in sight and letters and shapes that haven't been invented yet.
There are four ways you can become the proud owner of an autographed book:
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Attend one of my speaking engagements or appearances.
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Drive to my house with your book in hand.
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Accost me in a public place or dark alley.
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Have me come to your house.
Now there is a fifth way. Get ready. Send me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I will send you a book plate made out to you with my best wishes and my signature. Simply affix the book plate inside and - voila! - your own autographed book.
As a special offer, the book plate comes complete with lying rights. Simply show the autograph to one of your friends, and you are entitled to completely fabricate a story about how you met the author and exchanged a witty quip or two. Something like, "And he said, 'no, I wasn't on lithium when I signed this,'" will do just fine.
Please send your SASE to:
John McManamy
PO Box 5093
Kendall Park, NJ
08824
Be sure to include IN VERY CLEAR PRINTING who you would like the book made out to.